So in the past ten days the UK's been gripped by tennis fever as a result of the massive spectacle that is Wimbledon. Now don't get me wrong, I do like tennis but this seems to be the only time that everyone else in the world gives a stuff. Ok, I might have slept through Andy Murray's win at Queens the other week, but I watched literally hours of the French Open back in May. That ladies and gentlemen, is commitment to the sport.
That small opening rant out of the way I've actually been enjoying the events of the last week or so if only for the emergence of Andy Murray, every one's favourite/most hated tennis player [delete as appropriate]. Not since a fully face painted Mel Gibson have we seen a Scot split public opinion quite so well. Personally I like his style and will cheer him on, but I know plenty of people who wouldn't spare urine to stop him burning to death. These are the kind of characters we need in a sport like tennis, [Andy Murray...not the guys that wouldn’t put him out] often dismissed as solely for the posh people or the cucumber sandwich brigade.
Celebrity tennis tournaments would be one way of doing it, getting a bit more excitement involved. Combine some of the veterans of the game with a few more curveball choices. John McEnroe had a reputation for being an angry one on the court, but can you imagine him playing opposite Vinnie Jones. You could do a sweepstake as to how long it'd take for Jonesy to have convinced the umpire that he’s always right and god help any line judge that makes a dodgy call. I’ve no doubt that poor Vinnie would struggle, but I can’t imagine McEnroe would do a great job with a racquet stuck through his head.
If it wasn’t for his unfortunate death, you could have played Heath Ledger against Jake Gyllenhall and see who breaks back most often. Or even get the members of Dragon's Den involved, with prize money made up of those stacks of cash they always have [and yet I’m not convinced is at all real]. Again it'd probably end with a brawl and while the smart money would be on Man-Mountain Peter Jones to win, I bet Deborah Meedon fights dirty.
Now my [slightly more than passing] interest in tennis goes a bit deeper than spending some time glued to the television. I have also dabbled in playing the game myself. Now this is a spectacle worthy of the television. I am much less than a natural talent when it comes to this game and the skills on display weren't exactly second to none as much as second to a nun... who'd taken a vow of never playing sports. Yes, that good. If it had come to rankings Abu Hamza would have been seeded above me. in fact so would the dog, Henry VIII and Yoda.
How's that looking for a game of mixed doubles?
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