“I know it’s not my place to say...”, “I know I shouldn’t be doing this” and “I definitely wouldn’t dare do this sober”. All are words that I’ve typed in the early hours of the morning to people that I definitely shouldn’t have and now true to form, I rarely talk to now. Good work Dave. As much as the blame lies at my fingertips alone, I’m pretty sure it’s a widespread problem for us young people. Social networking at its finest. Give us an internet connection or a mobile phone and I guarantee you we’ll all make a fool of ourselves. Don’t try and deny it, we’ve all done it. Mobile phones and Facebook. Two things that have become ever present in everyone’s life; both fantastic inventions and yet possibly the worst things to ever happen to me.
Before these newer online ways of embarrassing ourselves [Facebook especially] the limit was what you could send in a text message, limiting your chances by at least having their phone number. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve sent messages to all the wrong people... a few in school years even leading up to an awkward Monday morning walking into school to that infamous message echoing along the corridors by people I’ve never met and were probably about the age of 11. Give me carrier pigeons and messages in bottles any day. Far harder to make a total crumpet of yourself and that’s if they ever arrive at their intended destination anyway.
Even with that in mind, my own failings pale in significance to some of the stories I’ve heard from friends. One unfortunate chap confessed deep feelings to the wrong person via a simple address book error... I can imagine that was an awkward one to wake up to the next day. How many are true I’m not sure but if they are... the world’s a cruel yet hugely entertaining place
Even worse, newer mobile phones make it far easier to make a total clown of yourself; they keep records of messages and pop up in conversations so that every time you go to send a new message that last moment of shame is there glaring at you. If that wasn’t enough you even get a date and time accurate to the minute where you’ve essentially been mentally grouped with wasps and the people off the Jeremy Kyle show.
This is where Facebook has it wrong, after a spate of recent questions over privacy [or twitter super injunctions... don’t worry Ryan, your secret's safe with me] it seems that privacy and security are at the top of their agenda. I’m not that bothered if some advertising company pinches my phone number and gives me a call one afternoon trying to sell me a new mobile phone contract; I just pass on my Dad’s number and say he’d be willing to take a call about it instead [then laugh like a bond villain when I get a message from my old man saying “you’re a bastard you” or “we’ve changed the locks back at home. Unlucky.”]
Which is what brings me nicely across to my request to Facebook: forget all these qualms over privacy; give me something that stops me going on it when I’m drunk. That’s much more important and I think I’ve worked out a few solutions for all us sufferers of drunken texting/Facebooking. First of all, we all need an insomniac friend. Enlist this friend to abuse you fiercely if you’re seen online in the early hours of the morning [I’ve tried this, it works a treat] and I guarantee it’ll work for you too.
If we get technical, I’m sure Facebook can find a way of locking out people that have posted that they’re intending to get trolleyed that evening. Or even a list of people you can set to “don’t talk to when drunk” as a safety measure. In all honesty I think we should all just stick to twitter. I can’t put an opinion into 140 characters anyway, let alone a drunken monologue. That’s the solution ladies and gentlemen, stick to twitter after midnight. All blushes will be saved and dignity held intact. Actually sod it; it’s worth embarrassing myself every now and again so I can retell stories like these for everyone’s entertainment. I’ll keep you posted. Before midnight, in less than 140 characters.
No comments:
Post a Comment